The last few months have been interesting. There are lots of other adjectives..but let’s just stick with interesting. I am about to be forty. I know..I TOTALLY don’t look it, right?? Ha! I just remembered the BEST part of blogging..no one talks back!! I digress. Turning forty is an interesting thing…again..LOTS of other adjectives..but I am going to stick with interesting. I have evaluated EVERYTHING from why I make my breakfast choices, to why the sky is blue..when we ALL know it looks better a nice shade of pink. I am not young anymore. I am not yet old, but I am definitely no longer young. That is a strange feeling. I have no idea why I am using mundane adjectives..because the feeling is not just strange..it is overwhelming, comforting, frightening, empowering, fabulous, horrific, unimaginable, and perplexing..all at the same time. It kinda feels like I am having an out of body experience. There is this part of me that is EXCITED to be turning forty. Which is SHOCKING. But let’s be honest.. I survived my 30s (if I make it until June) and that is just about the best thing I can say about them. Turning 40 is LIBERATING. This came as a surprise. I have this list I run in my mind..all the perks of turning 40. The biggest one? I no longer give a crap about getting to the top. I made it there once, and the view was somewhat of a disappointment. I am insanely PROUD I accomplished everything I accomplished in my 20s, and I spent most of my 30s questioning what it all MEANT. For me, there has to be a meaning. I TRULY don’t care about big houses and top of the line cars..I am on a quest for happiness. The death of materialism has been the crowning achievement of my 30s. My more successful friends think I have lost my mind..they don’t understand my new stance on consumerism..they think I preach that now, because I can no longer afford to be frivilous…which I TOTALLY get…because if I could go back in time and whisper to the 32 year old me that the 39 year old me would hate to shop.. it would all be a moot point..because I would have laughed myself to death. I do miss my paycheck. ABSOLUTELY. But I miss my massage therapist, my accupuncturist, my chiropractor, security, peace of mind, not all those HOURS strolling the halls of the mall..trying to find the PERFECT outfit to me make me look thinner, taller, curvier, younger, hotter, to impress..who?? I’m pretty sure that if I could visit the 32 year old me, I would not whisper in her ear about consumerism, I would just punch her in the face..and hope she got the point and made better decisions. Another perk of turning 40? I TRULY don’t care what other people think of my clothes, shoes, hair. I THOUGHT I didn’t care before..but now..I just don’t give a damn. To be fair, in light of the random stray hairs and new mustache (what is THAT even about???) Do you guys know how FREEING it is to not worry about all these things?? Do I like to look nice still?? YES!! Do I plan my day around it? NOPE. I am on a quest to have experiences, not things. I want that for Jaxston. I could go on for HOURS about this..but I won’t today…since most of you are just here for the pictures.
It snowed here in Chattanooga a couple of months ago. Which is kind of a big deal. And I was SUPPOSED to be on the road for some work stuff..but I stayed back. I was conflicted. Heavily conflicted. I am not a big believer in driving here in the South in the snow. We just don’t have the equipment to clear the roads. PLUS, this was Jaxston’s first snow. Best part about being a geriatric mom?? I don’t take a single second for granted. I stayed back a night and woke up to play in the snow with my little man. I will NEVER regret that decision. As a mother, these are some of my favorite images of him. I LOATHE the snow..absolutely DESPISE it!!! But making snow angels with this guy…one of the best days of my life.
I should offer a disclaimer.. I threw in like a million pictures and broke all the posting etiquette …because this guy is the love of my life and I think every facial expression is a work of art..I KNOW I have on the mommy goggles..but I am almost 40..I don’t have to care!!
His mittens were too big..and he couldn’t touch the snow..the way he wanted to..and I went into photographer mode and was snapping all his little expressions and for a second, I forgot how cold it was. Realizing my mistake..I put the camera down and ran over to him and and said, “let me see your hands, are you cold??” He says, “nope” and I couldn’t believe it..but he was warm as toast. Hats off to this little snow suit from Carters. When I walked back to where I was standing..he said, “See momma..they are aren’t blue..” He melts me!
First taste of snow..ever..
He loved it!!